"In all the years you've said that you are going to go out to help Charlie you've never set foot out of the bed" -Charlie's Mother talking to bed ridden Grandpa Joe (Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory)

I ask myself what promises am I making to myself that I have not even made a move to start. Or worse how many projects have I started that I have not finished. In my process of reinventing myself I am finishing what I started..but with a better attitude and in a better more definitive way. I am starting with the end in mind....I am on my way..I know it won't be easy but I will get there.

Well I am making a comeback. I haven't blogged in a minute. I need to devote more time to it but as Lechelle my dear friend mentioned in her blog...I choose the clown. I am more of the clown at this point. I feel like my life is a little out of whack...I am looking for a house....another car...another man..well another man should be looking for me. I am making some daily affirmations so I don't have time to keep the clown role...so I will be dropping it soon...the ringmaster is not far off.

Ten Things about me

ok Ten things about me.......

1. My son and I made up our own language when he was really little and sometimes we do it....funny thing is we still understand each other.

2. I am hooked on "Antiques Roadshow" i cannot get enough of it ...when I found out they were coming to my city I put in for the ticket lottery but they did not pick me:(

3: I really love the color green...my bedroom is green..its so fresh and vibrant

4. I love men with bald heads and goatees.. I don't know why and if the goatee has salt and pepper in it..im hooked..(btw) I just met a guy with a bald head and goatee..

5. I really love the cd 'Watching the Snow" by Michael Franks...its a Christmas CD and I would play it all year long...I gave it to my brother..now I have to by another one.

6. I dont like clowns.

7. I really love the sound of rain..especially in a storm...I lift my window and I am in heaven.

8. I think if i ever had a chance to meet anyone it would be Forest Whitaker

9. I love long drives in the fall...I like watching the leaves.

10. I absolutely looooove interior design and cooking!

Overpromise...underdeliver..

Today I had a situation happen to me that almost knocked me backwards...but I accepted the change and decided that it was going to enhance my life in someway..so I will just wait and see how. On my journey for renewal I am learning and understanding little bits at a time ...I will call them "nuggets" small chunks or epiphanic moments...that come unexpectedly..(btw I make up words ...if Jesse Jackson can...so can I ..lol) ..like today I realized that I am not going to make anymore promises nor accept promises from people who cant deliver. If I know that I cannot deliver as promised than I will simply say so...I did not think about it until I realized that it was happening to me more than I would care to mention. Maybe its because I am not always accountable for my actions...i.e. if I'm late for something...or forget a date ...you attract what you are..so I will work on my stuff and hold others to the fire too. If I do better than hopefully I will attract better...I think so..

This is my first day....be gentle

Day 1-Today is the my first day blogging...my good friend "lechelle" who is a regular blogger suggested that I give it a try so here I am in all my glory. I feel a little exposed but I am not at all shy..so I will get over myself and let loose. I must say that it really hit me that I had a lot to say and needed another way to express my thoughts...or maybe my journal needed a rest. I realized a horrible truth , I was not being honest with myself and some of the decisions that I have made and it has cost me a lot of time, effort and money. None can be replaced..so I will take the lesson and apply it to my life moving forward. So this is going to be a journey of renewal....new beginnings in decisions I make from here on out ... I need to be a little more selective with people, places and things. I realize being a nice person can really lead you into a world of trouble. So here it is..from here on my bad decisions are a thing of the past..we hope. The thing with bad decisions you have to keep making bad decisions to keep supporting them. You keep convincing yourself that it will work itself out and usually it never does..so you keep medicating yourself with overriding thoughts to snuff out the obvious..YOU MADE A BIG MISTAKE...so I was there and now I am here...here meaning I stop accepting certain phone calls or making certain phone calls. Hey somethings are better left unspoken. Everyone might not agree..ok go ahead pick up the phone and let the "bad choice" talk you right back into the thing you are trying to let go.